How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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