Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
