he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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