Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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