remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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