the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
