You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
