is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is the high leading the old right now
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
