We're facebook friends in real life
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
