so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
