At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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