I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
