i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
