gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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