Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
