I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
