Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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