My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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