PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
