Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
