Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
