i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
