I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
