I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
