he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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