Can Purell be used as lube?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
