I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
