my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
