Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
