For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
