It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My breasts were aching with rage.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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