how can u be prego again
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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