I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I want to have your abortion
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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