Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
