Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
