yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
