Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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