Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
