she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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