LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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