Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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