i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
