You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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