I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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