Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
