There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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