i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
