dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
