Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
