I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i out mim tonsoeep
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
